In high-conflict custody cases, few issues cause more day-to-day frustration than constant demands for phone or video calls with the children. One parent feels shut out; the other feels intruded upon. So the question comes up all the time:
“Do I have to let my ex talk to the kids every day?”
In most Texas cases, the answer is no, unless your court order specifically requires it.
But as with most family-law questions, the details matter.
Start With the Court Order
The first place to look is always the custody order (temporary orders or final decree).
Most Texas orders address:
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Possession and access (who has the children and when)
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Electronic communication (phone calls, FaceTime, texting, etc.)
Many orders allow reasonable electronic communication, but they rarely require daily contact unless:
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The child is very young
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The parent has extremely limited possession
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The court found daily contact to be in the child’s best interest
If your order says something like “reasonable electronic communication at reasonable times,” that does not mean unlimited, on-demand access.
“Reasonable” Does Not Mean “Whenever They Want”
This is where high-conflict cases tend to go off the rails.
“Reasonable communication” generally means:
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At appropriate times of day
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For an appropriate length of time
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Without disrupting routines (school, homework, bedtime, activities)
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Without being used to harass or control the other parent
Daily calls that interfere with dinner, homework, or bedtime — or that repeatedly place the child in the middle of parental conflict — are often not reasonable.
Courts do not expect the parent in possession to stop normal life every day to accommodate the other parent.
What Courts Care About Most: The Child, Not the Parents
Texas courts evaluate communication issues through one lens:
What is in the best interest of the child?
Judges pay close attention to whether communication:
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Supports the child’s emotional well-being
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Is age-appropriate
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Is calm and positive
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Helps maintain a healthy relationship (not parental control)
If daily calls cause anxiety, pressure, or loyalty conflicts for the child, courts are far less sympathetic to the parent demanding them.
When Daily Contact May Be Appropriate
There are situations where more frequent communication makes sense, such as:
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Very young children who benefit from consistent reassurance
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Long-distance parenting schedules
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A parent temporarily unable to exercise possession
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Special medical or emotional needs
Even then, courts often place boundaries on timing, duration, and method of communication.
When Communication Becomes a Control Issue
In high-conflict cases, repeated demands for daily contact are sometimes less about the child and more about:
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Monitoring the other parent
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Disrupting the household
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Maintaining emotional leverage
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Continuing conflict through the child
Judges are keenly aware of this dynamic; especially when communication requests escalate, become accusatory, or result in frequent disputes.
Using the child as a conduit for conflict is a fast way to lose credibility in court.
Can You Say No Without Getting in Trouble?
If your order does not require daily calls, you generally have discretion, but discretion should be exercised carefully.
Best practices include:
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Offering consistent, predictable communication (e.g., certain days or times)
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Keeping responses polite and child-focused
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Avoiding emotional or reactive refusals
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Documenting excessive or disruptive requests
Flat refusals without explanation can backfire, but so can unlimited access.
What If This Keeps Being a Problem?
When daily communication disputes become a recurring issue, courts may:
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Clarify communication terms
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Set specific call days and times
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Limit duration of calls
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Restrict communication methods
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Appoint a neutral professional to help manage co-parenting conflict
Clear boundaries often reduce conflict as ambiguity tends to fuel it.
A Word of Caution About “Helping” Too Much
Many parents think, “I’ll just allow it so I don’t look bad.”
In high-conflict cases, that can actually create problems later.
If you establish daily access where none is required, the other parent may argue:
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That daily contact is necessary
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That the child is “used to it”
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That limiting it later is harmful
Consistency with the order instead of over-accommodation is usually the safer approach.
Final Thoughts
You are generally not required to allow your ex to talk to the children every day unless your court order says so. Reasonable communication is about balance (not control, and not constant access).
If communication has become a battleground, it may be time to seek clarification or court-ordered boundaries that protect the child and reduce ongoing conflict. At Grinke Stewart Law PLLC, our attorneys are experienced with handling these issues and we’re ready to help. If you have questions about your situation, contact us today to schedule a consultation
